Sharing from the Heart

On this small bit of space in the outer world...

I want to offer HOPE. Yet hope comes from only one source...

My heart is bursting. I have written to you dear friends a hundred times in my head and two times on paper. Yet, I have not the strength yet to share what touches me the most... what brings tears to my eyes and stings my soul.

The pain and burden that requires healing only comes from above.

I write in my time, and you read in yours. I write what I can share... though it feels like standing naked in front of you.... with my soul exposed.

I could write of the flowers I have been photographing recently... and I probably will...

I could write of the knitting I am learning... of the joy of wool in my hands... the feel of creating something... the constant watching and counting and the refreshment of pulling out the errors to start again. The creation that has no time frame that needs no hurry that requires nothing but time. The work that brings joy. The process of learning something new... perhaps I just did write of my new love of knitting.

But the things that matter most... that I want to share that I crave for you to understand leak from the keys and end in a puddle. Isn't that how we are in real life?

                        Don't you clean the house before company arrives?

                                 Don't you throw all your messes in places they are hidden?

                                              Don't you wipe your child's face before they go out?

Don't you slip on a nicer shirt before you go out and keep the ones with stains for at home?

                            Why do we even keep the ones with stains? 

                                                  Why can't we throw them out?                                

                                                              Why can't we look "nice" all the time? 

                                                                            Why can't I be "nice" all the time?

My song prayer all the day long is "create in me a clean heart, O God, renew a right spirit within me."

I know I need God that I have spots that I can't clean alone. I have patches of rough weather where my temper flares and my heart stings. I have days and hours and moments when I fight back the tears, and want something better and different. Yet, I know that I am on the right path... that I have found the Way.

So do you know the way?

^{The Bible says in Luke chapter 13 verses 22 to 30:}

²²Then Jesus went through the towns and villages, teaching as he made his way to Jerusalem. ²³Someone asked him, "Lord, are only a few people going to be saved?"

   He said to them, ²⁴"Make every effort to enter through the narrow door, because many, I tell you, will try to enter and will not be able to. ²⁵Once the owner of the house gets up and closes the door, you will stand outside knocking and pleading, 'Sir, open the door for us.'
      "But he will answer, 'I don't know you or where you come from.'

 ²⁶"Then you will say, 'We ate and drank with you, and you taught in our streets.'

 ²⁷"But he will reply, 'I don't know you or where you come from. Away from me, all you evildoers!'

 ²⁸"There will be weeping there, and gnashing of teeth, when you see Abraham, Isaac and Jacob and all the prophets in the kingdom of God, but you yourselves thrown out. ²⁹People will come from east and west and north and south, and will take their places at the feast in the kingdom of God. ³⁰Indeed there are those who are last who will be first, and first who will be last."

Do you know how to be saved? If not, may I show you narrow door...  ask me I want to share it with you.

What does it mean? It means I can get up in the morning. It means I can find GRACE for myself when I drop a whole GLASS (did I mention GLASS) jar of RED spaghetti sauce on the floor less than 15 minutes before a group of LADIES arrived at my house. It means I find GRACE when my 2 year old arrives with GUM in his hair... it means I find GRACE when plans are changed.

GRACE was freely given to me - so why shouldn't I have GRACE to share? My sins are white as snow... 

How PURE is that?

My Bookshelf & Summer Reading

Wow... I really, really love to read. When I read fiction, I can't stop until the book is finished. So, it is not at all productive for me to read fiction; it usually wastes a whole day. Here is what I am reading NOW...

My BIBLE STUDY BOOKS
Daily reading.. Bible. This year I am reading The Daily Bible. I fall behind... I get ahead. I am going to read the whole Bible in a year. I love the Chronological order. It makes sense. Right now I am reading Proverbs, and this Bible groups them by categories. In the side margins of the book is where the verses are found in the Bible. If you want to read from Genesis to Revelations with no stopping in the typical order then a Chronological Bible is not for you.


I just started a Beth Moore Bible Study on the book of Esther from the Bible. I loved the Introductory message, and can't wait to jump in. It took a lot of resolve not to do the whole week in one day. It had the most amazing information on Providence... and guess what I have been wondering about... Providence. I love when God arranges that the thing you want to learn more about - you do. It just pushed me to want to learn more about Providence. If you live near me, you are welcome to join next Tuesday from 10-12. If you don't, then you can purchase the audio, teacher guide and student book, etc. (and it is that good!)


My PARENTING BOOKS
Just bought this... and can't wait to start reading it.Seasons of a Mother's Heart

I have used this book called teach them diligently as a reference for a long time. I look forward to doing a more in depth look at parenting with this study guide for the book. This book is full of scriptures to teach your children and to teach yourself.



My FICTION BOOKS
Interesting series by Alexander McCall Smith called the No. 1 Ladies Detective Agency. The theology is strange... one minute they are praying and I think they are all Christians, then lying and thinking it is okay... so read it for entertainment value not ethics, morals or religious content. It is fun to read it and analyze it to see how Christians are thought of in Africa and their traditions. It would be fun to research and see how much of the books is truth and how much is this author's discretion when writing about religion.

Currently, I am reading the 9th book... and I just started reading the series in the last month. I know - 9 books - yeah, I really liked them. Why do I like them? The main character Mme Ramotswe is a detective in a most unprofessional manner, but solves cases that are unique, timeless and interesting. I love how they find out the truth in situations, and each book solves multiple mysteries that are clean-cut. There is no swearing, sex or terrible violent scenes.

One more in the series... and I think I will have read them all... Also, there was an HBO series from these books that I thought was delightful (though it does not follow the books exactly). I would only watch the series AFTER reading the books. If you are not a reader, then get the series. Warning: Blockbuster had no idea what I was talking about, but our local library has the TV series movie.



My NEW HOBBY
I found this book at a garage sale, and I think I paid a dime. It has a copyright date of 1974 (one year after I was born). I am on Square 5 of 63. My legalistic personality is determined to make all 63 squares, but I rethinking that... but we'll see. Ask me about my progress. I started knitting the first week of April for my birthday present.  So almost 5 squares in about 2 months... pretty good by my 3 kid standard... The book was so good it was reissued.


Getting RICH with AMAZON
In case you were wondering... I am not going to get rich with my Amazon links. I thought it would be more fun to see it in pictures. I have had my books listed on the side of my bar for many months, and have not made a single cent off of the links. For me to "make" money, you have to click on the link from my blog, and then actually purchase the book from my understanding. However, it has pages of info on Amazon that I have not bothered to read, so I could be wrong about that. However, I am certain I have not made a cent, and checked it to see that I had actually ONE click off my bar. Thanks to whoever made that ONE click.

Perhaps I will soon write a post strictly on Homeschooling Books which would fill a page. Let me know what you are reading... if you want to join me in reading any of these that would be fun.
p.s. If you know how to have text wrap around these ads, please share the code!

Unspoken

I wish there were not UNSPOKENS.... that we burst out with all that bubbles within. That we reveal the truth.

Jesus said to him, “I am the WAY, the TRUTH, and the LIFE. No one comes to the Father except through Me.  John 14:6

I wish we could be REAL all the time. When we are happy, we bubble with excitement and shout it out regardless of others. When we are sad, the tears would flow - there would be no holding back the dams.

WE would be REAL.

Yet for the sake of MANNERS and KINDNESS we hold it back and in.

WE can't scream out JOY when the one next to us is sad and in a STORM.

WE can't WEEP torrents when the one next to us has achieved their personal VICTORY.

So, we hold it in and have the UNSPOKENS. Yet the UNSPOKENS leak out in our face and eyes when we least expect them.

Lord - Teach me to see the UNSPOKENS in others, and help me to live a life that brings Glory to you. Help me to say the unmentionables and live with truth and integrity. Thank you for the friends you have blessed me with that carries my burdens and bear the weight of all my SPOKENS. Amen.