Thursday, July 15, 2010

Sharing from the Heart

On this small bit of space in the outer world...

I want to offer HOPE. Yet hope comes from only one source...

My heart is bursting. I have written to you dear friends a hundred times in my head and two times on paper. Yet, I have not the strength yet to share what touches me the most... what brings tears to my eyes and stings my soul.

The pain and burden that requires healing only comes from above.

I write in my time, and you read in yours. I write what I can share... though it feels like standing naked in front of you.... with my soul exposed.

I could write of the flowers I have been photographing recently... and I probably will...

I could write of the knitting I am learning... of the joy of wool in my hands... the feel of creating something... the constant watching and counting and the refreshment of pulling out the errors to start again. The creation that has no time frame that needs no hurry that requires nothing but time. The work that brings joy. The process of learning something new... perhaps I just did write of my new love of knitting.

But the things that matter most... that I want to share that I crave for you to understand leak from the keys and end in a puddle. Isn't that how we are in real life?

                        Don't you clean the house before company arrives?
                                 Don't you throw all your messes in places they are hidden?
                                              Don't you wipe your child's face before they go out?

Don't you slip on a nicer shirt before you go out and keep the ones with stains for at home?
                            Why do we even keep the ones with stains? 
                                                  Why can't we throw them out?                                
                                                              Why can't we look "nice" all the time? 
                                                                            Why can't I be "nice" all the time?

My song prayer all the day long is "create in me a clean heart, O God, renew a right spirit within me."

I know I need God that I have spots that I can't clean alone. I have patches of rough weather where my temper flares and my heart stings. I have days and hours and moments when I fight back the tears, and want something better and different. Yet, I know that I am on the right path... that I have found the Way.

So do you know the way?
The Bible says in Luke chapter 13 verses 22 to 30:

22Then Jesus went through the towns and villages, teaching as he made his way to Jerusalem. 23Someone asked him, "Lord, are only a few people going to be saved?"
   He said to them, 24"Make every effort to enter through the narrow door, because many, I tell you, will try to enter and will not be able to. 25Once the owner of the house gets up and closes the door, you will stand outside knocking and pleading, 'Sir, open the door for us.'
      "But he will answer, 'I don't know you or where you come from.'
 26"Then you will say, 'We ate and drank with you, and you taught in our streets.'
 27"But he will reply, 'I don't know you or where you come from. Away from me, all you evildoers!'
 28"There will be weeping there, and gnashing of teeth, when you see Abraham, Isaac and Jacob and all the prophets in the kingdom of God, but you yourselves thrown out. 29People will come from east and west and north and south, and will take their places at the feast in the kingdom of God. 30Indeed there are those who are last who will be first, and first who will be last."

Do you know how to be saved? If not, may I show you narrow door...  ask me I want to share it with you.

What does it mean? It means I can get up in the morning. It means I can find GRACE for myself when I drop a whole GLASS (did I mention GLASS) jar of RED spaghetti sauce on the floor less than 15 minutes before a group of LADIES arrived at my house. It means I find GRACE when my 2 year old arrives with GUM in his hair... it means I find GRACE when plans are changed.

GRACE was freely given to me - so why shouldn't I have GRACE to share? My sins are white as snow... 
How PURE is that?

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