Prayers...

Thinking of all kinds of verses for fear. Squash is having syndactyly surgery on his hands tomorrow, and the surgery will include a skin graft. Many people that saw him every week for the first year of his life never knew he had syndactyly. I really did not want to talk about it, but now, I do. Why? Birth defects are scary and hard to understand. Why? My child's toes and fingers are so precious to me. As his mommy, I did not want him to be talked about or remembered for his toes or his hands. I wanted his stunning smile and his giggle to be what people associate with him. Not his differences. I suppose differences define each of us.


"God has always been faithful to me." That is the lyrics of the Sara Grove song on my blog that I am hearing as I write this. So true. The pediatric plastic surgeon said Squash's syndactyly is the mildest he has ever seen. What a blessing is that. It is a blessing that he has all 10 fingers and all 10 toes, and that he has all his bones.


My parents style is more of a "worry" style that I inherited. I don't "like" worry, but I am working on it. I think God gave me a husband that helps me with worry. I don't trust babysitters or sleep overs or others with my children... it is not that I don't trust the PEOPLE - but I just want to be with them, and I want to know they are SAFE. I want to be their protector. God gave them to me, and I always think that no one besides the Prince would love them as much as me.


So, tomorrow morning at 6:00 a.m. I will hand over my baby to someone I don't know. I will trust a doctor that I have spent less than an hour with to take my baby to surgery. I type with tears in my eyes as I ask for your prayers - for an easy surgery, for his safety, for the doctor's skill, for minimal scars, for quick healing, and for the waiting for me and my husband. My other two children will be staying with a close friend that I really trust, and they are so excited. It is hard to go and pack for their exciting sleepover - when I know in a few short hours I will be waking up my little SQUASH to nurse at 3:00 a.m. and waking up at 4:00 a.m. to get ready to leave for the drive to the hospital. I have waited 15 months for this surgery, and though you may have never heard of it before - I have thought about it every day since the day he was born. Every time I wiped his fingers and washed him at his bath.


So, I crave and beg you to pray to God for this child. I love him so much. There are sicker children and children with more needs. This is a minor surgery in the eyes of the world, but major in this mommy's heart. So, I go to hold my baby and pack our bags.


God, Bless this child. Use him for your purposes. He belongs to you. Heal his hands with this surgery and watch over him bringing him safely home to us. Be with the doctors and nurses. Bring his parents peace. Thank you for the incredible blessing of these three children. We are richly blessed. Thank you for letting us know you. I know you alone love this child more. May this surgery be the last. Your child and baby - Andrea